Overwhelmed!

It's been an incredible opportunity to be a mother. Part of me still questions why it took so long for my ultimate dream to come true. I was ready, I got pregnant, then I wasn't. I tried again and my hopes were up and then I wasn't. I graduated, I started working and I was ok even though almost every night I would lay in bed crying. Crying to my God and wondering what His plan was for me. And then, just when I thought this was going to be an excruciatingly long journey, I got pregnant with baby Clara. I am so happy to have her but lately I've been feeling overwhelmed. When these thoughts start to creep in I tend to go back to the beginning. I was ready, I got pregnant, then I wasn't.... I guess I jut think that why couldn't I had the chance to be a mother earlier on. Why did it have to be now? I also think that if it had been earlier, then I would have been extremely happy. Not to say that I'm not right now, it's just that it's harder right now. I'm away from my family and relying on the kindness of strangers for relief. The situation is much harder today than it would have been 8 years ago. God made it harder for me. But why?