Jon's poor brown suit pants

Last weekend Jon bought some nice brown suit pants. He came home and was so excited that he found some pants that would fit his voluptuous behind. While he showered he asked if I could heat up the iron for him. I then stepped out of the room to finish getting ready. After about 10 minutes Jon yelled my name. He asked me why his brown pants had a big black mark on the behind part after having ironed that section of the pants. I said, I dunno but when did you get a big dent in your office chair? We put two and two and realized that the iron had been up against his black office chair and when he went to iron his pants the black melted rubber had transferred onto his brand new suit pants! I felt SO bad:( Luckily and with some elbow grease, we were able to remove the black melted rubber from his pants. (Just don't look too closely at his behind!) Well, after he wore the pants I decided to wash them. I was so meticulous and as careful as I could be. I then went downstairs to finish up some HW. Jon came home and saw that there were some clothes in the washer and decided to put them in the dryer. He then called out my name and asked me how a black pen got in the washer with his new brown pants. As he lifted the pen out a gush of ink came out and we just shook our heads and decided that since the moment Jon bought these pants they were destined to die. We also thought that maybe the pants had meant to be the color black. Who knows? Again, I ask that you not stare at Jon's Brown suit pants too closely!